therapy

Owning Your Part When You Hurt The Dance

couples marriage

Remember what Maya Angelou said? “When someone shows you how they feel, believe them the first time.” But what if you’re the one who did the injury? What if you’re the person who hurt your partner in marriage, your close friend, a colleague or worse yet, someone you barely know? How do you repair the relationship and earn back the trust you broke? What To Do When You’ve Hurt You’re Loved One 1. Think About What Happened What was going on for you when you said or did what you did? How do you think the other person felt? How… Continue Reading This Article

How Long Does It Take To Change A Light Bulb? (Marriage Improvement)

marriage couples

Have you heard the joke about the light bulb? It goes like this: Question: “How many therapists does it take to change a light bulb?” Answer: “One. but the light bulb has to want to change!” Improving relationships – any relationship – is much the same. The research shows it takes only one person to change a relationship for the better. -I can hear you now. “But, you don’t know what it’s like to live with him!” “I’m not going to change unless she changes.” “I tried that suggestion you made last week, and it didn’t work.” I hear you,… Continue Reading This Article

The Why’s of Contempt for Couples

couples

Hey, there. We’re continuing on in figuring out how couples can let their relationships deteriorate and slip into some Destructive Dances of relating to each other. We started at the Marriage-Relationship Saga. We’re going to keep walking together – persevering – learning about the Destructive 4 Horsemen Dr. John Gottman researched. It’s hard, isn’t it? Sometimes looking at the ways we have treated each other in the past, or are treating each other currently, is truly painful and lonely. My hope is you will be encouraged. So- Remember how I said in the last blog that I was going to… Continue Reading This Article

How to Notice If Contempt is Part of The Couple

couples

We’re going to return to the Marriage-Relationship Saga again. Back on the range with the Couple of the Hour, Bob and Kate. As they assess the way they’d been riding together, their focus turns to the Disaster Ride of Calico Contempt. Contempt sounds like such a nasty word, doesn’t it? I mean, you’d have to be a pretty mean person to actually practice contempt, right? And being a couple who had contempt? Well, that would never happen to them! After all they were the couple who marched down the aisle to “Happy To Be Stuck With You.” Their wedding day… Continue Reading This Article