Mental Health

Stonewalling – The Ultimate Weapon of Destruction For Couples

couples

Have you ever heard yourself saying, “I feel like I’m talking to a wall?” or “I might as well be talking to myself!” Has anyone been saying these statements to you lately? If so, you might have Stonewalling as part of the Destructive Dance to your relationship. But, wait. It can get worse. –If both of you have begun to practice Stonewalling, there is a strong probability the relationship is circling the drain. The results of Dr. John Gottman’s research showed Stonewalling to be one of the most destructive behaviors in a relationship. It’s one of the 4 Horsemen we… Continue Reading This Article

Being Intentional About Rest

We’ve all been there. Hurrying through our week. Working hard to make a living. And then, the weekend comes! Time to rest. Right? Not right. We’ve lost the “Intentional Rest” we used to practice as families. With the soccer games, swim team, softball practices, shopping and yard work. We have miscellaneous activities to accomplish on the weekends. Families have lost the ability to rest. We’ve lost the importance of rest. Not very long ago, I got a hold of John Ortberg’s book, ‘Soul Keeping.‘ Ortberg talks about what it is to take care of the most important part of us…. Continue Reading This Article

Solutions to Couples Criticizing

Couples often get stuck in destructive habits with each other. Criticism is one of these habits. Criticism often starts a spiral downward for the couple. One partner criticizes. The other Partner defends. One partner ramps up the criticism to contempt. The other partner stonewalls. And so it goes. The negativity cycle of destruction spins a couple into loneliness within the marriage. The once happy and carefree couple often wonders if they will ever be able to get out of the walking deadness of their marriage. There are solutions. There is hope. Criticism has antidotes to it. Whether you are the… Continue Reading This Article

Horses in My Marriage Bed-1

Dr. John Gottman informed me about 10 years ago, there were horses in my marriage bed. He had been doing research for years in his couples’ lab about happily married couples versus those couples who were miserable or on the verge of divorce. Dr. Gottman’s research showed there were four horsemen I needed to keep out of my marriage. My husband and I read about these horses and took a quick assessment of our arena. At the time, the horses were running like wild stallions stampeding for water in the Sahara through our marriage! We knew we had to do… Continue Reading This Article