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Grief – The Shock of It All

The News Where were you when you found out? Were you standing up? Sitting down? Were you right with your loved one? I remember the phone calls. I remember where I was sitting – working – laying. One of my closest friends told me about Dad’s death. She did so with so much reluctance and compassion. She knew I had heard about the death of my Aunt (my second Mom) in a shockingly matter-of-fact way. I recall Judy saying, “Kate, I wish I were there, my friend. I wish I could say this in person and hug you… Your Mom… Continue Reading This Article

Grief – The Way To Joy

Grief is not just about death. Sometimes it is the only way to joy. Have you ever experienced a low-grade sadness? You aren’t certain where exactly it came from. And you don’t know how to shake off the blues. A lot of times this feeling of the “light blues” (or melancholy mood) can come from not grieving the ‘smaller’ losses in life you have already faced. We often ignore the ‘smaller losses.’ The ‘smaller losses’ of life accumulate. They can leave us emotionally constipated until they are processed You get a new job promotion and you leave the people you… Continue Reading This Article

The Soul of Grief

1991. That was the year my identity took a shift. I always grew up being “Daddy’s Little Girl.” I would never be “Daddy’s Little Girl” again. Perhaps you know this type of shift, as well. Grief is like that. Grief shifts our world in ways no one is prepared for. Let’s face it. Who is prepared to have their identity shift from “Daddy’s Little Girl” to something you just might not have the words to describe? Kubler-Ross describes the steps of grief as Denial/Shock – Anger – Bargaining – Depression – Acceptance. When I give speeches about grief I often… Continue Reading This Article

We Don’t Get to Decide How The Story Ends

When I got the phone call from Toni at 3:30 AM, I had the immediate sense I was a failure. My brother had died a horrible death and I had failed him. I had not loved him well. But the truth is – We don’t get to decide how the story ends for others. Loving well is allowing others to have choice and freedom. It is having the courage to feel the pain and sorrow of their choices, while loving ourselves and staying out of the chaos their choices are creating. I wanted my brother’s story to end differently. I… Continue Reading This Article

5 House Rules for Media and Teens

My previous blog post, “Sobering Statistics for Media and Teens” lists research regarding the effects TV, computers and video games has on teens. The following 5 Practical House Rules are suggestions to help you navigate how to help your adolescents manage media in your home. No one can tell you what is “right” for you and your household. The following are 5 things we found useful in our home while having 4 teens. We used these House Rules to create some sanity around media in our home. You might find one or two helpful, as well. 1. Choose shows the… Continue Reading This Article

Sobering Stats About Teens and Media

I couldn’t figure out what my son was talking about. “Mom! They have a TV cover just like ours. Why is theirs on their wall?” I glanced around my friend’s house and noticed what my son was pointing to. My friend looked at me with a quizzical, “Has your son lost his mind?” look. I laughed, embarrassed now, and knowing I needed to explain to my friend about why my son was pointing to her heirloom quilt and referring to it as a ‘TV cover.’ “Uh… We don’t let our kids watch a lot of television. In fact, our TV… Continue Reading This Article

Three Skills of A Teen Brain Whisperer

It happened again. The simple conversation about the homework and the grades turned into a full on argument with my teen. Why couldn’t this just be easier? Why must grades or chores or the time of day be so emotionally explosive? You’d think after 3 teenagers I would know by now to always be ready for the inevitable. Because the inevitable is – after all – inevitable. Parenting teens takes some specific skills. If we don’t realize the skills needed, we can really cause a lot of headaches and damage for us – as well as our teens. Today I… Continue Reading This Article

4 Reasons To Be Jealous of Your Teen

It was just another day in enjoying the ESSENCE of the teen brain. “Mom!” Oldest Son said urgently. “Mom, are you on your way home now?!” “Yes, I should be home in about ten minutes.” In that moment, I heard a succinct inner voice telling me I really didn’t want to be heading home. I had heard this tone of voice from my son before. It usually meant I was coming home to mayhem of some sort my teenage son had created. This inner voice told me I would not be coming home to a peaceful, relaxing evening. “Good!” he… Continue Reading This Article

Are You a Helicopter Parent?

Today we’re privileged to have a guest post by Anna Scates of The 7 Year Adventure – A Positive Spin on Parenting. We are all guilty of it at some point in our kids’ lives. It just comes naturally, and we can’t help it. Parents wind up driving their kids crazy by being a wee bit overbearing. The more common term for it is “Helicopter Parenting.” Learning to let go can be a painful, slow process in a parent’s life. You have to make yourself do it, especially when they go off to college. I found myself “helicoptering” once when… Continue Reading This Article

The Importance of Hula Hoops in Your Relationship

The Principle of the Hula Hoop I think one of the most important things a couple can do to improve their relationship is to learn and practice the principle of “Staying In Your Own Hula Hoop.” What I mean is it is so very easy to point the finger at our partner and talk about how they are making the marital relationship difficult. It’s easy to become focused on how desperately we want them to change, isn’t it? After all, if you knew the person we had to live with, you’d want them to change too, wouldn’t you? Focusing on… Continue Reading This Article

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